This is really happening!!!

After 4 years of waiting this is actually only a few days away. It hasn't seemed real...until now. It's amazing how you can push your feelings to the back of your head or, better yet, you heart, but eventually they will catch up to you. I guess today is that day. We still have some things to get done before we leave on Thursday but all I can think about is holding our little girl and being a good Daddy to her. Most would assume that this goal is easily achieved but assumptions are usually wrong. I'm impatient (understatement of the year), easily agitated, not a great communicator, the list goes on and on. As men it seems as if we are trained to hide our feelings, not necessarily on purpose, but emotion equals weakness. I often pray for God to give my girls the tools to "translate" my actions to see that they are driven by worry and love. I was in love with each one of them before I ever saw them. I know what it is going to be like for me when we meet her. My heart will be racing, my head will be filled with pressure(the kind of pressure you feel when you are about to cry but are fighting it), my mind will be trying to take it all in and process it. I can't imagine what will be going through her mind. I hope I can always make it clear to her, if not with my words then my actions, that a Daddy's love has no requirements, no limits, and no end. I can't wait for her first laugh, words, steps, even her first date (which should be around the year 2040) but I will wait, by her side, with my heart breaking a little each time because she will grow up too fast just like her sisters. As a Father of 3 and soon to be 4 I often hear how hard it must be to be surrounded by woman. It definitely has it's moments but I wouldn't trade it for anything. As they get older and graduate college, move out, get married (Gulp!), I hope they remember their Daddy as a man who makes them laugh, taught them right from wrong, and loves them like no other can.
It's actually Tuesday now, 1:45 AM. Madeline is sleeping, without a doubt dreaming of our sweet Mia. I'd better join her. -A